Most people who tell us they would never cruise are describing a ship they have never been on. The resort ships of the television adverts carry four to six thousand guests; the ships we recommend carry between 100 and 900. Almost every objection we hear is true of the first and false of the second. Here are the seven we hear most, with the honest answer.
1. It will be crowded
On a 300-guest ship with a crew of 250, the problem is the opposite: you may have the pool to yourself at eleven in the morning. There are no queues to disembark, no reservations for the main restaurant and no announcements. If you want an atmosphere, the larger luxury ships of 700 to 900 guests have more going on in the evening while still never feeling full.
2. The food is a buffet
The lines we sell run several restaurants with menus that change nightly, cook to order and, on most, include the speciality dining in the fare. Breakfast and lunch are often served as well as laid out. Oceania and Regent build their reputation on the kitchen; Seabourn and Silversea are not far behind. We tell you which ships cook best because it is one of the first questions we are asked.
3. I will be seasick
Modern ships are stabilised and most itineraries we recommend sail protected waters: the Mediterranean, the Adriatic, the Norwegian fjords, the Inside Passage in Alaska. River cruises do not move at all. The exceptions are honest ones: the Drake Passage to Antarctica and Atlantic crossings can be rough, and we say so before you book, not after.
4. I will feel trapped
A luxury itinerary spends most of its days in port, frequently from early morning until late evening, and sometimes overnight. You walk off the ship into Dubrovnik or Kotor or Portofino, and the ship is the hotel that follows you. Guests who feared being stuck usually report the reverse: they saw six places in a week and unpacked once.
5. I will have to dress for dinner every night
It depends on the line, and we match it to you. Seabourn and Silversea keep a few elegant evenings; Explora Journeys, the Ritz-Carlton Yacht Collection and the expedition ships are deliberately relaxed. Nobody we work with insists on a tuxedo.
6. There will be children everywhere, or no children at all
Both exist, and the difference is the line and the date. Viking is adults only. Oceania has no children's facilities. Explora Journeys and Regent run proper children's programmes in school holidays. Outside those weeks, even the family-friendly ships are quiet. If you want children around, or want to avoid them, the dates matter as much as the ship.
7. It is expensive for what it is
A luxury fare usually includes the suite, all meals and most restaurants, drinks, gratuities and often excursions, Wi-Fi and sometimes flights. Priced against a week in a comparable hotel with meals, drinks and three or four changes of city, it is frequently the better value. We show you the fare and what we add around it before you commit to anything.
What we suggest
A first luxury cruise should be seven nights, in a sea that behaves, on a ship with fewer than 900 guests, with a hotel night before you sail. Tell us who is travelling and we will say which ship, and which we would avoid.
